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RE: Idaho fan seeks advice | from More SWSMay 14 2003 - 17:34

"I Give Up. Goodbye. I Love You" from Please Sennd Help is probably the saddest song ever. I seriously don't think you could get sadder. The song before it is up there too. But "Nani" is my favorite song on that album overall. It is SOOOOO beautiful. I've never heard a song with such yearning emotion in my life. It could confine you to bed for life.

RE: Idaho fan seeks advice | from RipMay 14 2003 - 12:35

"In On" by SWS is another heart wrencher.....

RE: Idaho fan seeks advice | from RyanMay 14 2003 - 12:34

I was just drunk and trying to break the heavy mood of this thread. I've done my share of wallowing to "Katy Song" so I relate to what you're all saying, but seriously you have to get on with life. I had my heart broken at an early age and wasted some of the best years of my life feeling sorry for myself. And no, I'm not 12. I'm 13 and a half.

RE: Idaho fan seeks advice | from AlexMay 14 2003 - 12:00

JR. You can find SWS's CDs on Amazon.com and Projekt.com (more likely here, Amazon is often out of them). Listen to MP3s on MP3.com. He has tons of songs up on there. They are not a good representation of SWS though. To truly get a good understanding of the music, you must first buy "Hope Was" (and all others later) and listen all the way through with headphones on and the lyric sheet in hand. Please do so as quickly as possible. Let me know when you do. I'd love to hear what you think. Official site is www.soulwhirlingsomewhere.com

RE: Idaho fan seeks advice | from chrisMay 14 2003 - 10:16

thanks for understanding-SWS kills me-it's not melancholic and longing like Idaho-it's just plain sad...but beautiful (are we f'd up or what?).() is great, huh? so moving-shows the power of good music without much else..

RHP's cover of I'm sorry is a heart wrencher-I agree it's hard to stop playing it- I think I wore the track out when the tribut album came out-I don't see it helping, here , though...

RE: Idaho fan seeks advice | from JR OlssonMay 14 2003 - 08:19

where can i find this band called Soul Whirling Somewhere? i need an mp3 to get a grip.

RE: Idaho fan seeks advice | from Katy Song fanMay 14 2003 - 08:06

Katy Song is the best song ever written. I've never heard anything so honestly painful, sad, and beautiful, except for pretty much all of Soul Whirling Somewhere's material.

RE: Idaho fan seeks advice | from mr. been thereMay 14 2003 - 06:57

Well, Adam U.K. (& others) I've certainly done the 'wallow' thing...and more than once (not meaning to be glib or facetious, but there's a writer who came up with the term 'the lasciviousness of misery', that I always have thought was right on target). Anyway, I've reclined endlessly on the couch, examining the minutia of the ceiling, while listening (endlessly) to songs we shared, like the beautifully melancholy Katy Song by Red House Painters. Maybe the wallowing and cacooning thing is a necessary stage of recovery, like all the miserable days of rain that eventually make things grow & look gorgeous in the sunlight.

At some point, sooner probably better than later, you just gotta pick yourself up, say, "Enough of this shit" and tell yourself all those cliuches (which are, after all, true - that's why they're cliches): that it's better to be happy than sad, that life is short, and you have to get on with things. Time makes this more possible to say to yourself. Time also gives you the perspective to figure out why shit happened, and often that it was destined to happen & sometimes is, ultimately, for the best. Or, if you come to the conclusion that your own behaviour was at least partly responsible for the break-up, you gotta figure you can learn from it & make yourself a better partner for whoever comes next - and there will be a next.

Try to maintain a sense of humour about life - black humour's ok at this time. See friends. Keep busy. Get exercise. Try not to punish yourself with cigarettes, drugs, alcohol. God, I sound boring....but what are the alternatives?

"So Winter froze the river
And Winter birds don't sing
So Winter makes you shiver
So time is gonna bring you Spring."

- 'Time & Love' - Laura Nyro

RE: Idaho fan seeks advice | from DeanMay 14 2003 - 05:30

Obviously experienced in these matters Ryan. How old are you? 12?

RE: Idaho fan seeks advice | from RyanMay 14 2003 - 02:13

Fuck the reflective shit. You should just get drunk, crank up "Seamonsters" by the Wedding Present, and have wild, meaningless sex with as many girls as you can find.

RE: Idaho fan seeks advice | from DeanMay 14 2003 - 01:33

Or "All Mixed up" or Wilcos "sunken treasure".....

RE: Idaho fan seeks advice | from RipMay 13 2003 - 19:13

For a song to listen to over & over & over again, try the Red House Painters version of John Denver's "I'm Sorry".

RE: Idaho fan seeks advice | from AlexMay 13 2003 - 18:48

I definitely second Sigur Ros. "( )" is a beautiful album. Chris, it's nice (in a kind of pathetic way) to see that SWS has destroyed someone else. Also, I just listened to "Please Sennd Help" for the first time in a week or two (a long time for me). Adam, I'd strongly recommend this along with "Hope Was". I really hope and think that these albums will do for you what they've done for me.

RE: Idaho fan seeks advice | from RossMay 13 2003 - 14:43

I can appreciate your situation, and I send you my sincere sympathies. It's a shit situation. Always is. I can also appreciate the connection you've made to IDAHO and your ex. Music for certain people (and I would assume that many IDAHO fans would fall under this category) has a very direct connection to times in our lives, and certain significant events. I think people have echoed IDAHO music, especially, seems to elevate many of these more painful emotions and memories to the forefront, for a couple reasons...

For one, the music is almost cinematic -- very visual. Then there is the fact that very emotive music. Probably the most emotive music, I have ever heard. The effect of these two I have felt from listening to it, almost from the beginning. Even if I have no direct association between an event, or time in my life and an IDAHO song, the emotion in the music seems to usually call up an appropriate memory... sometimes its the lyrics, but for me, it's the emotion in the music. Certain IDAHO songs take me back to some darker places, while others happier places.

That being said, I think, as hard as it is right now, it would be a mistake to stop listening to IDAHO. As much as it's good music to ball to (I'm sure Jeff loves reading that), it's equally good music to heal to.

I'll share this with you... I had a pretty harsh break up with someone I was living with... and kind of had to continue living with for a while before I could flee from this painful arrangement. All that to say a pretty rough spot to be in. I kind of had to hold off my grief until I had a bit peace and quiet. Anyway, I was more or less numb for a few weeks until I moved back to my folks' place. Once I had moved back in, and had an available quiet moment, I just turned off the lights and put on 'This Way Out' on repeat. I don't have the buttery baritone pipes of J.Martin, but I just gave in. I just sat there and sang along, start to finish, start to finish. It was painful in the early going as all this shit came flooding back, but as I listened, I just realised that I was going to live. That this "part" of my life, was just part of my "life story", if you will. You know the saying, "what doesn't kill you, makes you stronger"? Well, you can't die from a broken heart (despite how you feel right now) but you can "get stronger" because of one.

Adam, IDAHO, is your band, and even if it became hers along the way, you should try to hold onto it for yourself. Beyond that, just hang in there Brother. Be strong.


RE: Idaho fan seeks advice | from chrisMay 13 2003 - 13:26

I can empathize, too, as I am going through a breakup period. SWS has destroyed me...I find myself listening to RHP Down Colourful Hill- Lord Kill the Pain seems to work well. As for Idaho, try A Sound Awake or other 3 sheets material. It is out of this pain that we grow stronger...this too shall pass. PS- also listenong to sigur Ros- no lyrics!

RE: Idaho fan seeks advice | from tharpeMay 13 2003 - 13:03

I fully understand having discovered idaho during my recently ending 5 year relationship with my love who I had made a trek from Houston, Tx up to New York just to see our boys at cbgbs. We were also supposed to be married this last Feb. - the month after we broke it off peacebly, and interestingly enough we still live under the same roof (different floors), We even get along fine. I had given our relationship to God long ago and asked for His perfect Will with us & I just Loved her with my whole heart and tried to be a good steward of the blessing she was and is. In the midst of a great year full of very few problems and many great moments, and growth together she suddely felt her heart was changing. Though i didnt understand at first I soon remembered that I had put this In my Father God's hands Long ago and He has been nothing but faithfull to me for as long as I have trusted Him (Prov.3:5,6) and I, because of his grace and mercy, have had Peace and Hope that goes beyond my own understanding.(Phill 4:6,7) So if I had Anything to say 1 Pray for Wisdom (James 1:5-8)
2 Pray for His will (because ours never seems to do anything for us but fail us in A circular way)
3 Pray for Peace.
Ill keep you in my prayers as well, adam
peace be with you brother man,
p.s. I have no affiliation to any chuches I am just a beliver in Jesus Christ and believe The Word OF God is Truth!

RE: Idaho fan seeks advice | from dick bucknerMay 13 2003 - 12:17

He said "I'll pull you down"
She said "Yeah, I know you will"...

RE: Idaho fan seeks advice | from danielMay 13 2003 - 10:55

richard buckner is damn good break-up music if youre into that whiny pedal steel country rock thing. you just can't help feeling good about feeling sad. is that a good thing?

RE: Idaho fan seeks advice | from adam in nycMay 13 2003 - 08:49

i'm a different adam than the one that originally posted this Q but i just got thru with a 5 year, still going thru the break up process as it were, and i've been listening to idaho and alot of Tori Amos, which suprised me to be helpfull, she has a lot of scorn but a lot of comfort at the same time. Alot of her songs are about break-ups. But it's easy for me to listen to idaho because my partner didn't hate them, but also didnt love them either. So at least my Idaho experience wont be tainted. but try Tori.

RE: Idaho fan seeks advice | from AlexMay 12 2003 - 14:52

Sadly, I relate to this as well. Adam, I really don't know what to tell you, other than the obvious cliches that come to mind, i.e. "It just takes time". I recommend listening to Soul Whirling Somewhere's "Hope Was", but hesitate in doing so, because it, like all other SWS albums, will either comfort you in some crazy way, or absolutely destroy you. It kinda did both to me, but in the long run, I think it really helped me to understand my own feelings better. Yes, actually, that is exactly what I recommend.

RE: Idaho fan seeks advice | from the oracleMay 12 2003 - 10:22

i think that aside from the association of music to real life that might cause depression or unhealthy thoughts, a lot of idaho's music/lyrics are pretty helpful in dealing with loss or at least accepting and being ok with it. i'm not sure if thats what the intended meaning of the words are of not, but the 1st lines of "jump up" for example... worth listening to...

RE: Idaho fan seeks advice | from elliottMay 12 2003 - 09:54

after reading that last post,it looks like i sound unsympathetic, but i didnt mean it to come of that way... it was just an observation... that idaho attracts people who have had this sort of thing happen to them...yup


RE: Idaho fan seeks advice | from elliottMay 12 2003 - 07:14

i have a feeling most of us wouldn't like idaho so much if we hadn't gone through similar situations. i would have to agre with the posts above in saying you just have to get out there and do something. keep yourself busy.

RE: Idaho fan seeks advice | from christianMay 12 2003 - 07:03

hate to say it but i identify with this. i STILL can't listen to levitate because it brings back too much about a girl i still miss almost 2 years later... incidentally "please sennd help" by soulwhirlingsomewhere is another i can't listen to.. it's like a dagger in my chest. i'm pathetic.
listen to SWANS, greed/holy money era. that stuff really helped me through - it made the emotional pain seem physical, which for me is easier to take. good luck.

RE: Idaho fan seeks advice | from DeanMay 12 2003 - 05:48

But knowing other people can sympathise/empathise is always a little comfort blanket...
Adam, it's really a matter of time and trying to regiment your thoughts if you start to wallow or they become too self destructive. reach out to your friends and family too for support. most of us have been there and remember how wretched it feels and how it just tires you the fuck out and destroys your confidence. Sometimes forcing yourself to go out when you are wallowing ( even if you don't feel up for socialising ) can get you into the habit of being back in the swing and not solely thinking about what you've lost and getting that heavy hurt in your gut. you won't have a swinger the first few times but eventually the pretence that you are OK will become the reality. And however bad you feel keep telling yourself that you will feel better soon. It's a slow healing process so partly it's a case of gritting your teeth and riding it through.
A couple of LP's that really helped me cope before were Big stars "third ( sister lovers )" and The Apartments "The evening visits...."
Thinking about you mate.

RE: Idaho fan seeks advice | from the oracleMay 11 2003 - 19:06

seriously, if you like bands like idaho, you probably have some sort of refined taste in music/art etc... or may see yourself as some sort of artist or musician... so thats how you should start dealing with it. write a song or a poem or draw something. you need to have some way of dealing with it positively... (after the initial wake up in the gutter with your pants pulled over your head hangover). same thing happened to me after two yrs with this one girl. we saw idaho here in athens actually in 2000 and man,ive got tons of cds that remind me of her also. but as much of a sob story mine is... i had to get over it and move on. but don't look for too many words of wisdom from the internet or message boards or rock stars. as cliche as it sounds, you have to deal with it on your own terms and your own timeframe. so buy a new guitar and woo someone new.

don't rip me to pieces... | from adam (u.k.)May 11 2003 - 12:40

Hi everyone

Seeing as there is a community spirit thing going on around here of late - yard sales and such like, I'd like to ask for some advice... Seriously...

I've just broken up from a five year relationship with my first love, a beautiful girl who I'm still in love with.

I introduced her to idaho via the Forbidden EP, Alas and HoP. It's now basically impossible for me to listen to those records without breaking down. We came to see idaho in London last October, and met Jeff and John...

That's the Idaho side of things sorted out - any advice on what i can do to get over her? I've very few friends and am not looking forward to spending the rest of my days miserable... Sensible only please, i'm a bit fragile at the minute...

Thanks all


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